First of all a huge THANK YOU for all your lovely e-mails over the past two months, they have meant so much to me, you’ll never know. But, I have to apologise because I may not have replied to all of them and have been slow to answer the ones that I did. If I let myself, I could be on the computer all day …. and as is so obvious to me now ……life is too short to do that! But trust me every e-mail was carefully read over and over again, most bought a tear to my eye ….. THANK YOU xxxxx
What I would like to do in the next week or so is to do a post showing you all the lovely handmade cards I received, from so many followers. I think I have only ever made one Sympathy card, undoubtedly the hardest type of card to make, but they were all so beautiful they really need to be shared.
So what have I been up to? Well I have been “learning” myself to paint big things, proper …….. …….
…… when The Duke’s marine tank was emptied and taken away the room was too bare and it was so obvious that it had gone…. 
….. so I decided that by changing the whole look of the room its absence would not be quite so noticeable.
The tank was beautiful, but far to complicated for me or Lucy to look after, so some wonderful gentleman from the local Marine Aquarist Club came one night and dismantled it for us, they found homes for all the fish, corals, crabs and anemones …..and I just could not/cannot thank them enough for all they did. Having seen Andy’s Heath Robinson type set ups they said they only wish that they could have had the chance to met him. 
As I said at the start …. life is too short …… and Lucy and I are making plans ….. Andy so wanted to go to America and be a cowboy, go to a proper rodeo …. and we always dreamed that one day we would go to Monument Valley …..
…… well I might not get there for a little while yet …. but Lucy had told her Dad that she wanted to “do” Las Vegas for her 30th birthday and I know he would have made that dream come true for her ….. but as he can’t do it …. I am just going to have to do it for him …… next August!!!!
One of our very favourite programmes that we always watched together was Pawn Stars, and we always said if we went to Las Vegas that the Pawn Shop would be the first place we would visit …..
Well, it will be one of the first places Lucy and I will visit and I will take one of The Duke's vintage fishing reels or something like that to see what I can get for it .... and then ..... I will "squander" the proceedings with large cocktails, like we always did on holiday ....and toast The Duke.
The saddest day for me is coming up soon when we take Andy’s ashes to scatter in Brixham … it was about this time last year we were all excited about going to stay at Cockle Cottage ….
I also like the story from which the phrase is supposed to come from ….. http://www.wscribe.com/parables/pass.html.
So again thank you all again …. I am getting there xxxxx
27 comments:
A beautiful and very moving post, It's obvious, even to strangers like me, that you had such a wonderful life together. Thank you for sharing and making me realise that life is truly very precious. Take care
Love from Fleur xXx
Hello Helen, such a moving post, a real testimony to your love and I'm sure that planning a trip to Las Vegas can only do good. 'This too will pass' is the mantra that helped me to get through the months, and years if I'm honest, following the death of my mother ... it's an undeniable truism even if it is hard to believe at the time. When I found myself on my own due to divorce, I had to learn all sorts of DIY skills and I remember I was inordinately chuffed every time I hung a picture, painted a wall, etc., and I even put a piece of flat-pack furniture together - a Welsh dresser ... I did a good job too because 22 years later it's still in use. Oh, and yes, you're right, life is too short. Hugs, Elizabeth xx
Helen, this must have been a very difficult post for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, photo's and memories with us. Things cannot be easy for you but hopefully your plans for the future with your family will help you get through the difficult times looming ahead.
Toni xx
Thank you for showing the one truth about grief we often overlook - that life not only goes on, it also continues on a new path as well as the old one, simultaneously.
You are learning new things, such as home decorating, as well as coping with all the mundane chores, I'm sure.
You are planning a brand new adventure to the States as well as getting from one day to the next.
You ARE getting there, Helen. Well done, the Duke is no doubt very proud of you and Lucy.
Am in the same situation as you are as I lost my beloved John on Valentines Day this year. You are very brave being able to scatter Dukes ashes so soon. I'm finding it very hard to do that. OH wanted scattering near his family home in Sciotland which is a 8 hour drive from here. Its mainly the thought of hime not being here which is stopping me but I know the moment will be right and he will wander the hills as he wanted. My mantra is 'Keep smiling' and Johns was 'Look, Listen, Learn and Love'. I look at all my widowed friends and I know that this dark time will pass but the memories will stay with me for ever.
My thoughts are with you and we will do our partners proud as we walk the rocky path ahead.
x Tricia x
That was beautiful and moving and a real reminder that we should value every minute. You made me cry and you made me appreciate what I have. Off to hug the loved ones right now. Jenx
I hope despite your loss you can indeed enjoy every minute that life has in store for you.
That was very moving, Helen, brought me to tears. You are such a strong woman and an inspiration. I love the things you have planned, and the way you are 'dealing' with things and not just shutting yourself away and hoping it will just pass. Little gift winging it's way to you in the post... enjoy! x
Beautiful and inspirational post. Hugs Caroline xxx
Oh Helen, what a lovely post - stay strong lovely xxx
Such a wonderful post - brought me to tears. It's so lovely to see you posting photos of the Duke. Difficult for you I'm sure but you managed it. Huge hugs - keep smiling.
Lost my Dad last September very suddenly and I do not think that I really know what is going through my Mum's mind. After nearly 44 years of marriage to suddenly have it all change in such a dramtic way is hard for her.
Your post is written so well and the pictures just add to it brilliantly, a very touching testament to your love.
Brixham is a lovely place, I live in Cornwall myself, and I am sending you virtual hugs for that day. My Mum could not bring herself to do this and I feel that the question was asked of her too soon. I have been thinking a lot about you recently and I hope that Brixham will help with the healing process.
xx
Beautiful and moving post, brought me to tears.
Be strong.
luv
Debby
The donations to the RNLI is fantastic! What a wonderful legacy for Andy!
I hope the sun stays shining for your trip to Brixham and Vegas is fab!
You should also try to get to see the Grand Canyon while your out that way. Hugs Janex
This was a very moving post to read :) i am very new to blogging,and only discovered your lovely blog a short while ago-i had no idea you had ony recently lost someone so dear to you.It must be a very hard time for you,coming to terms with your loss,making new plans-taking stock of your life and finding the direction you will take-so im just sending you a hug and some good wishes xx :)
Very special post and it is so encouraging to see you bravely going forward....You have shown so much courage dealing with a part of life no one would choose...so many around the world are holding you in their thoughts and hoping each day brings a little more light into the darkness....Sending loving caring wishes....Dianne
PS.... so very very special for us to see the picture of you and The Duke together...Thank you so very much for sharing...Dianne
Shed tears with you as I read your post, you are wrapped in a hug from me. It would have been my husband's 60th birthday today, he died 19 years ago so I have some inking of how you feel. Please know you are in my thoughts. Lots of Hugs Bee
Hi Helen, such lovely, true words, and the pictures of the Duke are a real tribute. You are very brave scattering the Dukes' ashes so soon, but the time must seem right for you.
Have a look at this site:ashesintoglass.co.uk, I now have a beautiful ring containing some of my mum and dads ashes, now they are with me for always.
I'm thinking of you.
Sheila
What a lovely post. I love the bracelet that you have - such powerful words.
Toni xx
Dear Helen, I have been thinking of you a lot. I know we have never met. but you have bought a lot of pleasure to many with your blog. I am so sad you have lost your dear Duke, but what lovely memories, I guess our lives are the richer if we have such wonderful thoughts to recall at will. The bracelet you have found is wonderful, thank you for sharing. Barb xx
Such a lovely, personal post Helen and a fitting tribute to your Duke. It's great to hear that you're looking to the future with such a positive attitude. Sending your lots of hugs. Suze xx
Oh Helen, such a lovely and very moving post - Andy would be so proud of you. The photo of you together is really special.
Take care, love and hugs, Di xx
Lovely photos, and such a moving post
(((((((hugs))))))
Sue
What a lovely tribute. I had been away for a while so had not read your sad news. Do take care and enjoy those precious memories.
Dear Helen what a lovely tribute. It must have been so hard to do. wonderful pictures and wonderful memories. When the time comes im sure that you and Lucy will have a " WHALE" of a time courtesy of the dukes fishing tackle. Louise xx
Your heart says it all big love marc and co
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